2 years from now

2 years has passed.

Today marks the day I have been single for 2 years and also marks the day that I have been in deep pain. I'm glad that I have the strength to move on even though it haunts me from time to time I'm strong enough to push myself to move on.

When you can tell your story and it doesn't make you cry, that's when you know you've healed.

Time heals old pains, while it creates new one. Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

I haven't dated or done much within this year of being alone. Although I miss being with someone. I miss the affection from a man, I miss being held like a woman. I literally crave affection. Its not about sex. Its about cuddling, and to lay their head on my lap. I crave kisses, holding hands and running my thumb across thiers. Just looking at someone thinking "how did I get this lucky."

I cried for way too long. The only way is to pretend to smile & be happy when you're in the outside world. But inside your dying.

I'm jealous of those who loves each other unconditionally. Who makes the best out of their lives. And who grows old together. I wish you can see how a person is on the inside before you can even start to talk to them to see how they feel. I've watched so many chick flick movies that I only wish to have a love like in the movies. But again its only in movies, nothing last forever...

I'm at my age where I just want to someone who I can laugh with, sleep with, get mad with, eat with, and love? Is that too much to ask for? I dont think i have ever experienced "LOVE." What has happened to me wasn't love... I'm still broken and I cringe every time I hear that word.

I'm still picking up my pieces and i'll rebuild myself & come back stronger then ever.

I'm falling to sleep with "Lady antebellum- Wanted."