Becareful with who you allow into your life.

We have to be careful with who you allow to touch your life. As a person you are a limited resource who only has a limited amount of time and there are people who come only to drain you. Drain you of your time and energy. Others are discouragers, they challenge your every idea, your dreams, or aspirations. Then there are those who complain that everything around them is wrong except for them.

Researchers had found that the #1 predictor of how happy people are is the quality of their social relationships. If you’re a person who has a good social relationship, a good network of friends, the toxicity levels are low, the health level is high you’re going to be a happier person. It is also shown that people who has good network of relationships and social friends, those are the people who tend to live longer.

Refuse to be offended. Don’t take things personally. No matter how outrageous their behavior is and how they treat you or insult you, they are revealing themselves not you. They are telling you what’s in them not in you. When people are mean, when they are controlling it says about who they are it tells you what their problem is.

HURT people, hurt people. Toxic people tend to have something internally that they are dealing with. But as mature people we must have the love and not be offended when we encounter certain types of people. When it comes to relationships, being associated with, being in agreement with or being unequally yoked a toxic person can not only impact you but also your life. Knowing someone with possible toxic traits will allow you to make decisions and evaluate. Will this person add or subtract to my relationship? If you’re around someone who has any toxic trait in them it will rub off on you… I've been hurt by multiple people in my past but I don't take it personally. I take it as a lesson and I become resilient and pick myself back up and move on.

Now the reality is there’s a lot in life you can get offended by but when it comes to personal relationships, you just have to get over it. And try not to get offended by other people. In other words if you wanted to you an have such a thin skin everything everybody does offends you and you’re going to be unhappy most of your life so you got to learn that emotional and spiritual maturity is largely determined by how you treat those who mistreat you.  Bad company will always corrupt good morals.

One of the keys to happiness in life is you need to develop a thicker skin and not just be offended by so many things. You should always have a tender heart and thick skin so not everything sets you off or offends you. One thing you can do is try to ignore it as best as possible and not let it bother you. When a fool is annoyed, they quickly let it be known but wise people will ignore an insult. So be cautious of who you allow into your life.

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty… To provide you with guidance and support… To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually… They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life to anyone that has come and gone…

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

All we have left are memories so cherish them and value it well.
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These are my 3am thoughts...

Dear self

Dear God

Dear God,

Please don’t let me get attached to what’s not meant for me anymore. Don’t let me get attached to something or someone that you plan on taking away from me.

I know your plan is unknown but until you reveal it to me, please make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.

Because I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly, so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle, don’t let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me. Please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

Please don’t let me get attached to the things that keep me up at night, to people who leave me wondering and to places I’m not meant to live in. Bring me closer to what’s meant for me, let me hold on to those who are meant to stay.

But let me forget about the things that were never meant to be, give me the faith I need to believe that I’m better off without them. Give me the wisdom I need to realize that I deserve so much better and that I’ll be happier somewhere else with somebody else.

Or just give me tolerance I need right now to be okay with not getting the things I want, with not loving the ones I wanted to love and give me the patience I need to wait for your blessings and wait for your gifts.

But for now, please don’t let me get attached to what’s wrong for me. Don’t let me invest so much in things or people I’m bound to lose. Don’t let me want what’s not mine. Don’t let me build a future around what’s temporary.

- Sunshine 

logical thinkers vs emotional thinkers

When presented with a situation, it’s almost inevitable that two individuals with different personalities will react to it differently. This is particularly true when the situation is difficult and related to work or our private lives. Some people theorize that couples whose views and behaviors differ significantly from each other actually fare better when facing difficulties together.

Some people believe that an ideal couple consists of a Thinker and a Feeler, because they will try and solve a problem using completely different approaches to each other. Here are 8 reasons to back up this notion:

1. Thinkers count on facts. Feelers take note of emotions.

When a relationship is about to commence, a Thinker will take in all the hard facts about the other individual, such as social status, financial clout, their ability to devote free time to the relationship, and so on. Another consideration made by the Thinker is whether there is actually a necessity for a relationship in his or her life at that point in time.

On the other hand, a Feeler will just evaluate how he or she feels about the other person. Even if all objective reality serves to work against the relationship, a Feeler will not let such considerations get in the way of the love they’re feeling. It goes without saying that most relationships begin due to Feelers.

2. Thinkers take cues from external signals when something is wrong. Feelers just know that there is.

A Thinker needs hard proof of a relationship turning sour, such as a flirty text message to another person.

A Feeler will just go on a hunch without any proof whatsoever. He or she will note changes in body language and tone of voice, as well as be the first to state that there is a problem in the relationship.

3. Thinkers see the bad first. Feelers see the good first.

A Thinker tends to be the one who gives up and only begins to see what’s wrong.

In the event of the above, the Feeler begins seeking out the good things in the relationship as validation for staying together.

Because of these different perspectives, the ability to tackle a crisis and come through it in one piece increases.

4. Conflicts are natural for Thinkers. They are disasters for Feelers.

A Thinker is the first to admit that there’s a problem that needs solving.

A Feeler is mortified about having an argument. They feel fear and will suffer until there is harmony between the two parties once again. In addition, they will strive to restore harmony using all means necessary.

As is evident from the above, Thinkers are about conflict resolution, whereas Feelers are all about conflict avoidance! The Thinker is usually the individual who has to be proactive about restoring harmony in the relationship.

5. Thinkers are problem-solvers. Feelers wait for Thinkers to solve.

 A Thinker will go out of his or her way to make amends for a problem immediately after recognizing it.

A Feeler doesn’t attempt to do anything until his or her feelings of fear and hurt have subsided.

6. Thinkers need to be in charge. Feelers need to be loved.

A Thinker bears responsibility for his or her actions, and is comfortable about doing so.

A Feeler readily accepts such caring, and tends to feel lost when he or she is not receiving the love and attention they need.

Couples alert: if your partner is distressed, be sure to give them a big hug whenever you can
 
7. Thinkers want to know why something’s happening. Feelers want to know why it’s happening to them.
A Thinker always needs to know when and where things took a turn for the worse, whether the physical intimacy became a problem, adultery was committed, and so on.

A Feeler will brood at length on what’s wrong with him or her, and seek to understand what they’ve done to warrant the aversions of their partner. For a Feeler, it’s more important to understand the guilt they feel as a result of the conflict occurring.

While a Thinker will risk a breakup to clear the air, a Feeler will just sit and thing about what just occurred at length.

8. Thinkers seek the truth. Feelers will let go if they deem it necessary to do so.

A Thinker has no hang-ups about being perfectly honest with him or herself, as well as with others. Furthermore, when they realize they’re wrong, they won’t think twice about owning up to it.

A Feeler would rather not know the truth in certain instances to avoid the hurt it may cause them. They can also tell sweet lies to keep a relationship going.

All of the above is of course subjective, and it really depends on the personalities of the two individuals in a relationship to determine its dynamic. With that being said, two Thinkers have the tendency to decide they’re better off without each other, two Feelers will fight it out ‘til the bitter end, but a Thinker and a Feeler stand a much better chance of coming to a peaceful solution to a conflict, thus maintaining the relationship...

I'm an emotional thinker and that's what keeps my heart genuine as fuck.