Here's why im choosing to still roll solo..

“What’s wrong with me?” It’s something women often wonder after years of being single AF. Not you — rolling solo isn’t an unfortunate circumstance in your life, it’s a conscious choice. Here’s why you’re staying strong in your single status:

1. YOU’RE JUST NOT WILLING TO SETTLE.You shouldn’t have to. It’s a good thing that you’re not willing to settle for just any guy who’s “good enough.” You’re not jealous of all the married people on your Facebook because you know 50% of those marriages will end in divorce, probably because a lot of them settled…

2. YOU’RE A CATCH AND YOU KNOW IT.There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it’s pretty damn hard to find the right one. There’s a guy out there for you but he’ll have to meet your standards if you’re going to put in the time and effort to form a lasting relationship. In the meantime, you go out, meet new people and know that eventually, one of those people just might be the one.

3. YOUR BS DETECTOR IS IN HIGH GEAR.You’re swiping all the bad boys to the left, but it’s still hard to find the good guys. You’re not necessarily cynical, but you’re so used to brushing away the BS that you no longer expect to find Prince Charming on your phone or elsewhere (not that it was ever a priority for you anyway).

4. YOU’RE NOT INTO CASUAL SEX.In modern dating, it’s pretty damn hard to find a guy who understands a woman who still takes sex seriously. Oh well — you’re not willing to give up your beliefs. Instead you’re holding out for the one guy who will understand, and in the end, he’ll be worth it.

5. YOUR EX DID A NUMBER ON YOU.He treated you like crap and you’re not willing to get into a situation like that again. Relationships are meant to be something that enhances your life, not makes you feel like you’re drowning. Now that you’ve got your single freedom back again, you’re not willing to give that up again just yet.

6. YOU HAVE ENOUGH SELF-WORTH TO KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE.Knowing what you deserve is the first battle, but to win the war, you have to actually FIND what you deserve. That’s the hard part. You don’t let guys walk all over you and that’s a good thing. Girls mature faster than boys and at this rate it feels like the male population will never catch up.

7. FINDING A GOOD GUY IS LIKE FINDING A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.You’d think the world would be full of great guys who are perfect for you, but in reality, they call it “The One” for a reason. Think about how many men there are in the world. Now think about how many of those many are really great guys and finally, think about those great guys and how many would be perfect for you. It’s going to be a bit of a wait, but you’re perfectly fine with that.

8. ANYTHING A BOYFRIEND CAN DO FOR YOU, YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF.It used to be that women needed guys in their lives, whether it was for companionship, sex, to have kids, to spoil them, etc. Not anymore. Anything a guy can do for you, you can do yourself. In fact, you actually prefer it that way.

Why do we want the ones who dont want us

Have you ever experienced that one guy that you wanted so bad, but he just did not want you? Ladies, you aren’t alone. Everyone has experienced this at least once. When that guy you have a crush on doesn’t seem that interested, it drives you crazy. You start to think you’re going mental because you feel as though you have all this amazing love to give that guy, but he doesn’t want it. If you are like me, then you tend to go after the “bad boys”, who are so bad they don’t care about anything. Save yourself the trouble, and date a guy that actually cares about you. You cannot help who you like/love or when it happens, but you can control how it affects you. If a man does not feel the same way you do, then try to understand that he was not meant for you. Put on your sexy red lipstick, and kiss him goodbye! You don’t have to end on bad terms with the guy, but just know that someone out there is meant to love all of you. Maybe that person was not looking for anything serious, just did not like something about you, or maybe he was just into another woman. The most important thing to remember, is that there is nothing wrong with you.

Us as humans, have this craving for others to like us; if they do not like us we obsess over what we did to make them feel that way. If you think this does not apply to you, think again. Everyone wants acceptance, and to feel loved by people they meet, it is just in our nature. The reality is, not everyone is going to meet you and fall in love with you! There’s a quote that says, “you can be the ripest peach in the world, but there is still going to be someone who hates peaches.” This is completely true; do not drive yourself crazy chasing after someone who does not realize you are amazing. Trust me, believe it or not; YOU ARE AMAZING. Please do not stoop to changing yourself and lowering your standards to get him to like you. There is a small chance that you could change his mind, but at what price? To chase after the one that seems unattainable might be addicting for a bit, but after a while it takes a toll on you. Everyone wants things that they cannot have, because it’s a challenge. When you text that one guy and he does not respond, does it drive you crazy? Let me guess, you sit around bummed out, refreshing your phone, hoping he texts you back. This is unhealthy, ladies! The harsh truth is you are going insane over a guy that probably does not even have your number saved. Do not let these types of guys harden your heart, they aren’t worth it. You deserve someone who waits for your text, and gives YOU the type of love you want to give everyone else.

Rather than looking for love and acceptance from some crummy guy, receive it from yourself. Because guess what? You will ALWAYS be able to count on yourself. Maybe you feel down sometimes and may not like who you are, but you eventually pick yourself back up. You should not have to force, or beg a man to see how beautiful you are on the inside and out. You could be chasing after that guy, and you could pass or hurt the one that is meant for you. The more you imagine what the two of you could be in the future, the more you’re digging yourself deeper in the hole. The little games we take part in playing are fun at a certain time in our lives, but you don’t want to be in your 30s still playing the “I don’t know if he even likes me” game. If a man has feelings for you, he will make it known, you should not have to question it. Listen, it is easy to go for the wrong guy, but the real challenge is going after the right guy, which means, finally allowing yourself to be loved. It is okay to kiss a lot of frogs, but make sure you know when it’s time to put the frog down, wash your hands, and go after Prince Charming. No matter what anyone says, you deserve your Prince Charming. As my final piece of advice, I want you to remember to love yourself enough to allow the right kind of love into your life.

Take my advice coming from my own personal experience.😉

Men are Hunters

Ladies, men were born to be hunters. Men were born with this thing called testosterone, which makes men highly active and competitive. When a man on a mission comes across a woman with a purpose, she ignites a deeper fire within him. He becomes fueled with this burning passion to find out more about this woman. In his mind, he has to have her. He has to see what it is about this woman that drives him completely crazy (in a good way). Ladies, we were designed to be pursued by a man who could notice a lady in a room full of people.  Ladies were designed to be recognized and appreciated for the value that we can bring into a man's life. We were designed to be loved, cared for and protected with the utmost respect. The man meant for you wont waste any time pursuing you the right way and locking you down. He will make it his mission to shut down any if not all competition. The man meant for you will go to war to protect you. That’s how passionate men are with the women that they love. 

Wait for the man who will sacrifice himself for you and go to war over you just to have your love. You are that special ladies...

 

A love that starts with you.

A piece of my thought.

The hardest part of losing your big love is not actually deciding to leave them, it’s going through the steps it takes to find peace and move on. Sometimes, love is not enough. Two flames can combust, causing fireworks that burn and leave a toxic scent, a love that was once so beautiful and happy turning quickly into a darker kind of love. It happens so fast it’s hard to know exactly when it happened and what went wrong, the shock of this sudden stroke of evil doesn’t feel real to you. This kind of relationship is very hard to leave. You’re so accustomed to the bliss that this person brought you - they’re the one person who understands you, makes you feel flawlessly whole, they give you a level of happiness that you didn’t even think existed. It’s a pull that can only be understood by those who have experienced it. But at your very core, you know that this love is toxic because when things are bad, they are bad - the most horrid thing you've ever come face-to-face with, leaving you confused and angry; it sucks the life out of you. So you decide to leave, you know that this is not fair to you, the very core of your existence can't take it anymore.

When the dust finally settles you’re left feeling more lost than ever before. But remember, you made the right choice, and no matter how happy a person can make you, if they also bring out the worst in you, they are the wrong person for you. When you’ve hit rock bottom, keep reminding yourself that.

You will find peace when you realize that no matter how much you loved your ex and they loved you, when a person is able to bring you down to your lowest low, they will hurt you again. After actually letting go of your love, embrace everything you’re feeling. You will probably be in a tedious cycle where one day you’re totally fine, and the next you're feeling like nothing will ever be okay again. This will pass, I can promise you that. Don’t put a time frame on your grieving process, your heartbreak won’t live in a single moment - the pain takes time to form, because it takes time to realize what you’ve lost. You might even develop a wild streak. Enjoy each moment of being free, and know that the first few people you talk too, after your ex will most likely be rebounds. The realization of what you had can creep up on you at the most random times - when you’re lying next to your new someone and they smile in a way that triggers something deep inside you - bringing you back in an instant to your old love; all your memories together falling like a thousand bricks on your chest, forcing you to taste your sorrow all over again after you were sure you were over them. You will pull away to keep yourself from feeling again.

Be patient with your heart, don’t settle for the wrong person because you’re lonely, there is no rush. Wait for a love that makes your cells dance again. Learn to be alone; this will force you to wake up and cultivate a life that you actually want, it will force you to grow into the person you want to be. You can only attract what you put out, fall in love with yourself first: Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. Only then will you be sure when you meet the right person, because you will be sure of yourself. Eventually, you will find new love. A love that exists on one entity of happiness, not on both misery and ecstasy. The best part about going through something so traumatic is that this time you won’t have tolerance for any bullshit - when you’re in new relationship, you’ll spot the warning signs before it’s too late. There is no bringing you down ever again. This is probably the hardest thing to accept, but sometimes fate makes the best decisions for us. Your pain will evolve you, and one day the pain will be a memory. You’ll see that the toxic relationship you had prepared you for your new love.

By taking your happiness in your hands and choosing to let go of a poisonous love, you are opening up yourself to a new love, a love that you deserve, a love that starts with you...

 Life's so much better when you're never looking back...

Everyone You Meet Will Someday Teach You A Valuable Lesson

There’s a diversity of people in the world today and as we move through life we encounter this variation. These are the people that are capable of leaving either a positive or negative impact on your life during the moments which you’ve spent with them. However, these persons are teachers of valuable life lessons. In the past few years until present I was able to gain some of these cherished actualities with respect to “people”.

Firstly, the men you encounter in life are highly prioritized. Guys will always come and go whether good or bad. However, the impressionable moments that they leave entrenched into our minds are the “teachers” of these lessons. What did you learn? Men teach us about trust. Do not trust all men but trust men who are worthy. They taught us that not every guy that enters your life will stay, some of them enter just to teach us how to let go. We learn about love and in the end; the ones who really loves us. There’s also pain, and this pain is the ultimate teacher of lessons we didn’t even think we needed to know. Guys basically teach us a multitude of lessons as the chapters of our life story are shaped.

Secondly, the friends that we hold so dear to our hearts are also ranked as major teachers of life lessons as these “friends” come from different walks of life. What do they teach us? They also teach us about love, trust and pain as the men we meet but to a different extent. Some people aren’t worth your love, as they are nice to your face and become back-stabbing monsters as soon as you’re out of their sight. “Actions speak louder than words!” Pay attention to these actions.

You can assume you know a person as they’ve been a part of your life for a number of years but they secretly enjoy your pains and envy your happiness. Good friends will speak of your flaws to your face and disclose your goodness without your knowledge.

Then there’s “best friends”, we don’t usually acquire a lot of these but having one can be crucial whilst moving through life’s journey. These best friends teach us to be adventurous and to see the world differently. They show us that every obstacle that you bump into is not necessarily a “one man battle” but demonstrate that it can be conquered with an army of two. It’s like they are the little addition of sunshine to the darkness. It’s that person you are most alike, you tell your deepest secrets to and the one you can be yourself around. Warmth and comfort is found in that person as you feel protected. If you have a best friend, cherish that person as they are responsible for making this thing called “life” all the more worth-while. If you don’t have one… best find one.

Last but not least, there’s family. These should be your buddies and number one supporters. However, the lesson that family teaches us is “blood is thicker than water but blood is not always family.” You are related by blood but loyalty determines whether or not they’re your family.

Some family members can see the worst in you and everything you do can never be satisfactory.

They will use you as shark bait in safeguarding dangerous waters if it’s necessary. 2017, It wasn’t a horrible year but it wasn’t the best either, I made some friends, and lost some too. I learnt that family is not necessarily “blood”. No matter how much good you do, in the end some people will always see you for the bad things done and forget the good.

Life is wonderful though, minus the negativity, love yourself and make the best of each situation. It is a continuous learning process and the people around you are the teachers of these valuable lessons. Always be open-minded and move forward with the lessons that you learn from these different life teachers. All these instances of life led us to believe that sometimes destiny wants us to meet somebody. We conceive of most of our meetings with people as coincidence failing to see the master plan behind. The people with whom you have fated relationships, whether a friend, life partner or business partner they will make a significant impact on your life.

All the people we have met and all the people we have yet to meet, are meant to exist so we can find them. So we both could exchange a set of directions, which will guide us to the next place we are meant to go. And as we go, we must always believe that maybe this could be out last stop. That maybe the next person we meet will not have a set of directions, that maybe they will have more, and that maybe they will offer us something beautiful enough to inspire us to stay.

These moments of reconnection with my exes/friends made me realize that people are removed from your life not as some sort of punishment like I initially thought, but because they are simply not built to go where you are going in life, which is why we have met the people that we're suppose to meet just for a little while. It's just a pit stop to say hi and then you're on your way again...

Looking back now, I have never been more grateful for the temporary agony in my life that led me to my greatest pleasures.

Realization

Tonight's the night I've realized a lot about my life; facing reality really does hit rock bottom when you're always running away from it. It's 2018. And so much has changed now.

I went from a little girl to a mother to a whole new woman in 10 years. I've improved so much. I've met so many people coming in and out of my life. I've noticed the ones who actually makes an effort to stay and acknowledge my worth as a friend, family, and person. I've lost my father last month and losing my father made my life changed so much, to not take life for granted as well. I feel like I have it all, almost... but deep down I feel like something is missing... I can't quite pinpoint what that missing piece is. Or maybe I do know, but I just can't face it. Many people are in situations where whatever is missing in their lives, they're never going to feel different about it. We're not ever going to be able to say that what happened to us is okay. In that case, radically accepting and living with the unhappiness is our only option. We don't deny the pain of what's missing, but we learn to live with it. 

I spent many years trying to make up reasons about why I had the flashbacks, memories, continuous nightmares. When I finally decided to quit trying to hide from truth, I began to heal. I pray to God to help me fight my inner demons, this discomfort, distraught, the guilt. I pray for 2018 to be the year I heal from all I've been going through and to stop running away from reality and facing life for what it is.